Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Unmentionables.

A Lady's Guide to Being a Lady
As a lady, one is to dress not only fashionably but also appropriately. There is nothing that needs to be more appropriate about a lady's wardrobe than her underclothes. 

How to wear underwear like a Lady.
There are a couple scenarios I would like to discuss pertaining to a lady's underclothes. 

First.
The ever-present-thought, the panty line. It is imperative to pair the right underwear to the right bottoms. When clothing fits snuggly, it is my advise to get a nice pair of spandex like boy shorts (mostly because thongs detest me). That way the edge of the leg hole of the underwear is underneath your rear and should be well masked. The thinner the material of your underwear the better, that it lays as flush as possible to your skin. 
I would avoid cotton underwear at all costs. Ladies deserve and are better than Hanes. 
Second.
Slips. I believe the slip has become lost in today's world of fashion. One vital use of a slip to wear between a not so opaque skirt/dress and your skin. One may not notice the translucence of their outfit until light is directly cast upon it, so as a precautionary measure, don a slip.  Last year I purchased my first body slip, and it has since become this lady's best friend. Its tight  material not only protects me from revealing too much, it smooths out everything.  A body slip masks underwearlines, unruly patterns from fishnet stockings, and keeps everything in place. 
Third.
Selecting the appropriate bra for an outfit requires the lady to own more than one bra. Having worked at Victoria's Secret I have been trained that every girl is to own at least three bras- One to wear, One to wash, and One spare. I find that to be the bare minimum, very bare. First a lady must select the right style to go under her top. Bras made of thin material, with little to no lace or embellishments and with streamlined underwire at best for under t shirts and thin blouses. Deep plunge shirts will require a similar plunge on the bra. Be wary of push up bras and low cut necklines, remember we are ladies and not harlots. Color must also coordinate. If one is wearing a light colored top, follow suit with the bra. As well as with dark tops and dark bras. Black bras under white t shirts is also reserved for harlots. Beware of texture, if one has rhinestones on a bra, make sure one doesn't have a bumpy chest. And never use clear straps. Ever. 
This is not only slutty
but tacky as well. 


Use as needed and
don't be ashamed.
Though a lady may only be seen in her unmentionables by herself, and a most lucky spouse, it is the mystery of what's underneath that, piques interest. 



Keep your underclothes mysterious. 

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